Wednesday, April 28, 2010

"Those" Days...

Yesterday was One Of Those Days. You know those days when about halfway through you just want to go back to bed and start over in the morning? That was my yesterday. I was an absolute menace! Other than everything I touched breaking, from my curling iron to the golf cart to my stapler, I almost broke my Beagle! It wasn’t funny… well, ok it was kind of funny… and my mom and I (after the fact) got entirely too big a laugh out of it for me not to share.

Mr. Beagle on the golf cart this past winter.
(Yes, I know his sweatshirt is pink and he's a boy. Hey, it was the only one I had! Besides, dogs are red-green color blind so I figure he thought it was a handsome shade of gray!)

It was one of those partly cloudy days with just enough of a chance of rain that I had to watch the radar all day to make sure Mr. Beagle wasn’t going to get rained on while outside on his trolley, but not enough of a chance of rain that he needed to stay in his stall all day. About noon it started to cloud up and I could hear thunder off to the north. With a check of the radar I decided that perhaps I should bring him inside for a bit because it looked likely that we’d get a quick drenching. It was getting progressively darker and starting to sprinkle as I pulled the golf cart up to his trolley, snapped his leash on, loaded up one Beagle, his bed, his binkie (because it was a bit chilly),his food bowl, and Spike the barn cat. Mr. B and Spike were standing on the floor of the golf cart (they usually ride on the seat but that was taken up with all Beagle’s various paraphernalia) and I hit the gas. And all of a sudden…….

<-----------zzzzziiiiiiipppppp went the Beagle off the left side of the golf cart

Spikey panicked bailed off the right side ------------->

And I slammed on the brakes.

So I find myself sitting there, looking around, thoroughly confused as to why Beagle went sailing past my legs and did a bit of a thumpity-thump along the side of the golf cart, was now standing there sort of plastered up against it, and why his retractable leash was practically imbedded in my thigh. And then it occurred to me. Aw shit! In my haste to get him into the barn before the rain, I forgot to unhook him from his trolley tether when I snapped his leash on! Poor little B! He wasn’t hurt at all (I, however, have a lovely purple bruise across the top of my right thigh that hurts like hell) but he darned sure wasn’t real interested in getting back on the golf cart! Spike looked at me in that way that cat do, as if I belonged on one of those Sarah McLachlan commercials for abused animals, and high-tailed it to the barn under his own power! I did manage to get Mr. B and the Old Folks into the barn before the downpour started, but it was a close thing.

And to top it all off, after The Incident Beagle’s retractable leash would no longer expand or contract. So I had the bright idea of opening it up and fixing it. Just in case you should ever have a similar idea, don’t bother. After finally getting all the little tiny screws loose the whole thing exploded like one of those gag cans of snakes and there is no getting it back together again!

But on the bright side, I haven’t broken anything or pissed any of my animals off yet today… so hurray for me!


  1. Thank you for posting this! I really needed a rofl type of laugh. In fact I am crying because I laughed so hard!

    Poor Mr. B. But I bet you won't do it again :) And you are right. How can you NOT tell this story! Thanks again!

  2. I love you Jenna, I cried. Poor B, but I bet you screamed when you got spring load leash explosion.

  3. Oh, you know Mom and I laughed until we cried. And nearly peed our pants. We just kept looking at each other and saying, "It's not funny!" Then falling into gales of laughter again.

    Nat... no, pretty much by that point I'd exhausted my daily supply of surprise! It was more like, "Oh balls. Of course." ;)

  4. too funny! i had a good visual!!! :)

  5. Great story, and one of those times when all you can do is laugh at yourself and be happy no one was hurt (except your leg of course).

  6. Oh, yes, my poor leg looks awful! It doesn't really hurt but the bruise is several lovely shades of purple and green now! But if one of us was going to get wounded, I'm glad it was me and not him!

  7. I was kind of curious what you had to say so I just started reading your blog today so the first story I see is your friends party. I then start reading this post that half way down starts with "It was one of those party cloudy days ". Oh yea, party cloudy? :D It was just one of those mess ups that couldn't be passed up after reading the current post. :)

  8. Hahaha... thanks for catching that! I fixed it! This is why you can't edit your own work. And, no, it wasn't a Freudian slip. Despite the way the first post looks, I'm not really a party girl. I just can't type!

  9. hehe. Aww, but to hear it wasn't a Freudian slip isn't as much fun. :D I probably wouldn't have thought twice without the other post. :)

  10. Nope, sorry! Just a typo. I like to dance but I don't party hard like my girlfriends. It wasn't a fluke that I was the only sober one in that group!

  11. Nothing wrong with that. You just get to remember the embarrassing parts they get to forget. :)